Ewww, what a week. I am currently drained of energy, lying on my bed where I have been all day and night except a trip to see L and another to the Dr to get my torso put back together. Coming off Seroquel is awful, my latest reduction was a rather big one and has brought with it nightmares of the kind where you wake up in a jolt screaming; nausea; headaches; intermittent sleep and significantly lowered mood – although the mood is quite possibly the Yaz. So far the only pro to the Seroquel reduction is weight loss, Seroquel is the main reason I put on 20kg last year. With less Seroquel and more Lovan I’ve dropped 7kg, so I’m well on my way back down. I remember a conversation with a friend when I was 19, at the time I was a size 10-12, depending on the brand etc. I said to her that I didn’t need to worry too much about putting on weight, because I’d never buy anything above a size 12, and therefore if I reached a 14, my choice would be to walk around naked or drop the weight, stat! I didn’t hold myself to that, maybe I need a different punishment for next time.
I’m thinking of significantly reducing my facebook “No No No” list. L and I were discussing how very open her blog is yesterday, the pros outweighed the cons; basically if people don’t like the real her they can piss off! It’s something I need to think about more because I don’t want to risk future employers getting their hands on it, and definitely not family members.
Thanks to the few people who commented on Wednesday’s post, I welcome more on that, it’s still got me thinking.
Reducing your "no no no list" as you call it could well be a way for opening the lines of dialogue so that you take a step towards taking down the "fuck off" sign you say you wear. As nice as it would be to live in a world where we only had to associate with those who liked us for who we really were, it is not realistic - sometimes we have to conform to societal expectations and I don't think that unicyclists on tightropes would necessarily impress prospective employers, so I would recommend you keep your system of blocking some people. Also, as you say, you don't feel comfortable with your family reading your deepest darkest secrets. Baby steps.
ReplyDeleteI would not throw away the list, but it currently comprises of more than half of my facebook friends, there might be some who don't deserve to be on it. I've not attached my name anywhere on this blog or profile, and I'm careful with the names of others and places, anyone looking for dirt on me shouldn't find this.
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