More Appointments Than a 90 Year-Old

This coming week is almost full with appointments:

Monday:

Prahran: Psychiatrist – not my own - he’s away – but this one is very good.

Tuesday:

Williamstown: Osteopath for my back. I was seeing a physiotherapist but I reached my ($700) annual limit on my insurance. My physio said osteopathy would be the next best thing for it and it falls under a separate category in my insurance, so all is well. The osteopath does fantastic massages, really gets in there and I think the one manipulation she does helps too, but I don’t like her interest in the rest of my health problems and the spiritual side of things. She seems to think that osteopathy can fix it all. It can’t.

Hoppers Crossing: Weekly medication pick-up

Wednesday:

Prahran: Therapy group from 10-3

Box Hill: Not an appointment, but something I’ll be doing. Swimming from 4 – 5

Surrey Hills: Psychology from 6 – 7

Thursday:

Blackburn: GP: 3:30

Friday:

Box Hill: Hand surgeon 10:40

And this is why I need to be living on the other side of the city to where I currently am. Also I only have one friend on this side which sucks for getting out and doing things that aren’t medically related.

Depression and Anxiety Together Bringing You One Fine Week

I feel like after naming my last post Breakthrough and rhapsodising about what it is to feel again that this should be a positive post. But since a record 32 people read that post, and I’ll probably just get my usual 7 today I think I’ll just tell the truth.

I have been fighting anxiety off like a flock of hungry birds and all I have are some sticks made of benzodiazepines. My psychiatrist just gave me some stronger ones but I have to take them sparingly. In the last few days the depression has been getting stronger too, it’s the staying in bed, not being able to move, ignoring the world kind. I’m not going to church tonight even though that’s exactly what I need, I just can’t put myself up to the hour drive and the pretending once I get there. I need my friends to come to me (Thanks L), to sit with me in my PJs and drink tea.

I do a very good job of pretending. I went out yesterday and I felt genuinely good during some one on one time with my friend B.H but then the group part got too much and I had to put on pretending hat and I left before the second part of the evening began.

I woke at 11 this morning, made a coffee and returned to bed where I read until 2, that was nice. I want to go back but I’ll save it for tomorrow when Mum’s at work and I can stay there all day without question.

My Psychiatrist is going away, I’m not seeing him again until the 11^th of July. He’s made other arrangements for me, but I’m still quite scared. I’ll be looked after if I come crashing down, just not by him.