I’m back in the public psych ward, I was supposed to be moved today, they supposedly had a bed for me at a private last night but it has somehow disappeared. I expect like the last two times I’ve relied on bed brokers it will be over a week and then no one will take me. Whether I have a bed or not I’m going home tomorrow and will wait for a private bed from there. It won’t be a long admission, I just need to sort some things out, as I’m sure you can tell. I missed both classes this week, completely my fault, I could have chosen to fall apart tonight instead of just before class on Tuesday. Mum came to bring me some things this afternoon, she’s upset and confused and I don’t know what to say, I’m grateful that she’s bothered to learn about it all so she no longer tells me to just snap out of it and cheer up, though I know that’s what she wants.
I’m moderating comments as of today, just for a little while, don’t let it put you off. I want to get rid of whoever was trying to upset me today. I’ve deleted all their comments but it was targeted insults at the insecurities I’ve made known on this blog; I’m pretty sure it’s just a random, although there were a few details which scare me. I know I shouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing they upset me, but I want the rest of you to know why you can’t comment as usual (for now).
Some suggestions for your Mum to help her cope (apologies if she's already using them):
ReplyDelete* My Mum joined a yahoo group called Life on the Border. It's an email support group. Mum doesn't know I know she was in it as she used an alias and everything, but I think she found it helpful to have somewhere to vent and get support. Do a search on yahoo groups, or something similar, there's tonnes of groups out there, and tonnes for you too if that's what floats your boat
* There's two books out there called "Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder" and "The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder". Mum has said both are helpful, the workbook more than the book, workbook may or may not be appropriate given you live independently - I haven't read the blurb or the book. Stocked by Amazon and Book Depository.
* The files I emailed you have strategies for family too
* With this illness, knowledge is power. I think with my Mum, the best thing has been helping her understand what it's really like to have BPD. All they see is the cuts and scars, the ODs. They get a phone call from the hospital being told you're in there again, with no idea of the internal processes that have lead to you being there again. I'm a closed book with my Mum, and I'm assuming you are with your Mum. There's a great memoir out there called "Get Me Out Of Here: My Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder" by Rachel Reiland that details her illness, and recovery process. I think it also covers a bit of her life as a "normal" recovered person (can't remember, several years since I read it). I would suggest both of you reading it - your Mum so she knows what you go through, you so you know the process you're in for with DBT, etc. Available on Book Depository.
Hmm, I meant this to be a short comment, but it has turned into an essay - sorry!!