Three Unrelated Paragraphs

I spent this weekend not sleeping and not doing anything productive. My major script workshop is on Wednesday and I’ve written zero words! I think it’ll be okay though, it’s almost finished in my head, the actual writing part is trivial yeah? Rico is earning his keep, he has so far destroyed one blind, one window frame and one door frame, but he has also prevented one overdose; well done Rico! He needs a proper groom, I’ve been brushing him regularly but he already had some matted hair on his legs when I got him; he snaps when I go near it, I can’t brush it out because it’s like dreadlocks, I cut a few off but he has obviously had a bad grooming experience, he was shaking, had his tail tucked right in and ran away at any given opportunity. I think once it’s sorted out prevention will be easy enough with a thorough daily brush.

I’ve asked to change small groups, the coordinator is going to work out which ones aren’t full and where I’d fit well and then I’ll give a few a try (if there are a few). No one is happy about my decision to leave my current group but I don’t think it’s going to work for me, I’m too bitter because of my experience on the first week and now when I go I’m looking for things to pick on and expecting to disagree with everything, so of course it happens. Everything in my life is hard, and holding onto faith is perhaps the hardest. I think I’m enduring enough and that maybe taking the easy option here is not such a bad thing.

I’ll be West for a couple of weeks getting looked after by Mummy and Daddy - unless Rico doesn’t like it there, in which case I guess I’ll be there for one night. I’m feeling pretty horrible and very unsafe, I don’t have any fall backs this week because my GP is in Vanuatu, my first psychology appointment is not until the 9^th, I don’t yet have a new psychiatrist and my current one actually has a policy of not taking crisis phone calls, that leaves me with the CAT team to tell me to have a bath instead of overdosing and slicing myself open – thanks! I hope I sleep tonight, my head hurts so much, I’m dizzy and I have goose bumps all over my body, please body, just be kind for a little while.