I don’t have a new psychiatrist; shit! I cancelled my appointment with crazy psych today so I could comfort a friend – I've got nothing until 7th June now. I came very close to a train line drive last night, managed to hold back and I’m glad I did, I wouldn't have been the only suicide last night to hurt my friend.
I still can’t sleep, my head hurts, I don’t have a psychologist, I don’t like my psychiatrist and DBT doesn’t start until October or January. I have a long wait and I can’t escape before then because it will destroy my friend. I wonder how long you can stay in an induced coma for, and where one can get hold of the necessary equipment to achieve this.
I speak from experience when I say it is hard to get a new psychiatrist once you have the letters BPD written in that referral letter, harder still once self-harm/over-dosing/etc. are mentioned, and damn near impossible if you are still engaging in these behaviours. For this reason I say hang on as best as you can. You proved you can hang in there last night, not going to say that it is easy by any means, but you can do it. I know they're not the most helpful bunch, but use UH and triage/CATT when you need to - they can keep you alive. You did a very selfless thing for your friend, you are a good person and your death would be a loss to this world. B
ReplyDeleteP.S. seeing me in an induced coma for a week practically destroyed my Mum. Seeing you in one until October would completely shatter your family and your friends, and there is no way in hell you would be starting DBT as your body would be shattered too. After only a week I could not walk, I could barely sit up. I hate to imagine how much physio it would take before you could make even the simplest of moves on your own. Your mind is suffering, do not even think about destroying your body as well. B
ReplyDelete