Nothing

I'm very frustrated tonight. I was supposed to see the TMS professor today and it didn't happen because my doctor didn't bother arranging it like he's been saying he would since I got here. The professor only comes in on Tuesdays, so I can't start TMS for another week now, unless since last night my doctor has decided that's not the right option for me anyway. I think I want ECT, it has an 80% success rate and it works fast. I got a big telling off by a friend today, saying that I need to try harder to get better and that I've totally lost my personality etc, all of it true, but hard to rectify. I'm a shell of a person and I don't see how a shell can fill its self.