20mg

More drugs, possible admission with another month of TMS, plus maintenance; this was the result of my psychiatrist appointment yesterday. I'm now on 20mg of Abilify, this is quite a high dose, and will cost my parents a small fortune, none of my drugs are on the PBS, or they are but only for patients experiencing psychosis, my old Dr lied and said I had a psychotic illness, my current Dr isn't willing to take that risk, I guess they get a little slap on the wrist if caught. I don't lie to my Dr, I told him about the police and the deleted blog post that led to them being called. I was feeling even worse yesterday so he got to see first hand how I was, I managed not to cry though it was hard when he started talking about M - yes I'm still not over him, I hate that I'm not, I don't want him back but I just remember the good times and it hurts. He wants me to talk it through with my psychologist, he's not much of a talker, more of a drug pusher.

Today has been a big waste of time, I stayed in bed until 1 then did nothing for a while, watched the new Game of Thrones episode then stared at the ceiling for a while. The monotony was broken by a coffee date with L. It's great living with L and S, the three of us went to see The Hunger Games last night, it was our first household outing, I can't say I loved the film, but it was interesting after reading the book.