A new drug it is!
Either tonight or in the morning I'll be starting Cymbalta, I should know within a week if it's going to work or not but my doctor wants to give it about six weeks before deciding whether to stay on it or do ECT, TMS probably won't work, he spoke to the professor and he wasn't very confident. I feel pretty low at the moment, a new drug isn't really what I wanted, I was hoping for ECT but he wanted to try the drug first; he also said that the numbness I experience is likely only going to be fixed by a lot of psychotherapy, there's never a easy solution when I'm involved. If it's going to take a long time for the numbness to be fixed I'll probably lose a couple of friends quite soon, they're sick of it, apparently it makes being my friend draining. Of course I want to get better, that's why I'm here and not at home in bed wallowing, it's just really hard, impossible on my own.
K,
ReplyDeleteI don't think you can pull yourself out of this, but what I worry about and always have, is that drugs have made everything significantly worse and they keep changing the drugs but it doesn't make anything better. I know that the answer may not be get off everything because it's started something you can't just snap out of. I just don't know what to make of the fact, and watching how doctors have treated you has certainly shattered any faith I had in psychiatry.
No conclusion there, I'm sorry. Just something I think about and thought to speak out anyway.
CLM (all my initials so you know who I am! :-) )