It has been a lazy week, but somehow still a semi busy week. I’ve withdrawn from my fiction writing subject, just leaving script writing to focus on. I haven’t done any work and it’s now the end of week five of semester; I’ve created two characters, one of whom is weak and needs to be disposed of and that’s all I’ve got to show for five weeks. On Monday I started the next step in my Seroquel reduction, this one isn’t going so well, I’m emotional, really missing M (I cried for the first time in months on Thursday) and sleep is interrupted punctuated by bad dreams and then I’m restless and fidgety during the day. I’m torn, I want to come off Seroquel purely because of the weight issue, but I don’t like having these extra emotions, numbness is bliss in comparison.
Church is going well, still not too keen on the small group – people are great, content not so great; that said I did leave early this week I didn’t think I’d be missing much just a DVD on how big the universe is and therefore how great God is, I already knew that and didn’t need a sugar high mega church pastor to tell me, plus I felt like the walking dead. I’m making some new friends and kind of looking forward to attending services, still can’t bring my-self to sing but I’m taking myself along for a weekly Jesus injection and maybe after a while I can learn to self administer injections between Sundays. I failed to leave the house, or even open the blinds yesterday but today made it to a movie with one of said new friends, followed by coffee, church and “meal for mission”. I think these activities make up for my non day yesterday. Oh, I cooked too, I never have the energy or motivation to do that anymore but I’m getting sick of living off weetbix and toast.
I’ve been very well behaved since coming out of hospital, despite feeling worse with the med reduction etc I haven’t added a single scar to my collection, my poor arm needs some healing time anyway. If I make it until Tuesday it’ll be two weeks – that’s an achievement!
You're doing great. So proud of you!
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI used to take Effexor and Ativan for anxiety and depression. When I took these medications I never slept well. My family said I thrashed about and moaned in my sleep. I would have extremely vivid nightmares and would suddenly wake up with adrenaline pumping through me. The following day would be shot, and I suffered extreme insomnia. The meds also caused extreme restless leg syndrome. Since I stopped all meds I feel much better and my nightmares and restless legs have stopped. Yeah, I'm still depressed and feel rather apathetic about life, and could give a rat's ass if a tree fell on me, but I'd rather feel this way than how I did on the medication. I don't socialize much because I guess I prefer staying in, reading, watching movies, face booking instead.
P.S.
ReplyDeleteMy new motto, "Expect nothing, and never be disappointed".
XXOO