Wobbly Car

I ended up not going back to hospital, I was offered a bed on Friday, but by then I was feeling much better. I did one of the things I'm not supposed to last week, I reduced by half the amount of Epilim I'm on. Epilim is the drug likely causing the weight gain and I was getting seriously depressed every time I walked passed a mirror (I still do but I feel pro-active about it now) so I decided to take action without waiting another week and a half to see my dr, we'd talked about coming off it anyway, I just beat him to it. I haven't seen any results yet, but I'm not totally off it, and it's only been six days. One of the things I get despondent about is my lack of a man and being fat isn't going to help that situation change and it's all a big catch 22; I got really sick and started needing extra medication after my break up and I'm stuck feeling lonely and highly medicated with no one looking twice at me because I resemble a small car. I don't exercise as much as I should, but I move, I walk Rico daily and my diet could be better, but it's consistent, there is no difference between now and when I was 30kg lighter, there have been times when I've been ravenous and have sated those desires, that's probably where the weight came from, I guess it takes more than just going back to normal to shift it.

 I've applied for a couple of jobs and looked into short courses - there aren't any suitable for me at the moment, I missed the start dates for a few and the rest are either really expensive or only a couple of hours a week (and expensive). Tonight has been a chilled night in listening to this years' hottest 100 cd which I bought today, I was disappointed to find only 42 of the 100 songs on it, it's the first one I've bought and I didn't even think to check how many songs were on it, anyway, it's a nice compilation.