I write this post from a shared room with an en-suite so disgusting that I got my house mate to take me home for a shower. This room is in the psych ward of a local hospital. There was a little incident involving too much valium yesterday, and so I’m here. Unlike my last admission to a public hospital, this time it is the psychiatrist who wants to get me into the private system and they are going about it in a more professional manner than I did late last year. I hope to be out of here tomorrow but it depends on bed availabilities. It is counterproductive to have borderline patients in hospital because they usually leave in a worse state than they arrived, but I’m here for containment, not care. I’ve been in a rut for the last month and I need the stress free environment that a hospital provides to pick up a bit. All I have to do in here is wash and dress myself, I was only just managing that at home.
I’m not at the same public hospital I went to last time. I was lucky there, in that I had a private room and the entire facility had just been re-built. Here it is disgusting, but the nurses are much better, you don’t have to linger at a locked door with all of their backs to you for attention, you just knock and they come, or they’re floating around anyway. There is also more to do here, there is an art and craft room which is left unlocked, we have to ask for certain items though. The doctors are better too, I saw the resident psychiatrist last night, she was thorough and friendly. This morning I saw the senior psychiatrist, who made the decision about what to do with me next. He was good, gentle where necessary, firm when I was being elusive and seemed to have my best interests in mind.
My roommate is snoring, it’s a really weird snore, she breathes fast and shallow, she can’t be filling her lungs much at all.
I would like visitors, I have my real phone this time, they don’t confiscate them here. Let me know if you want to come and I’ll tell you where I am and the visiting hours.
Everything went awry when we deinstitulionalized our brothers and sisters in need. My heart breaks for you! Why, dear, do they keep releasing you? Obviously, you have shown them that you are incabable of taking care of yourself. Please, keep searching for someone who will give you the care you deserve. I'm so afraid you're going to cut your head off.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Annie
Awwwwww Annie!
ReplyDeleteAre you mentally retarted? I fear that maybe there is some educating to e done. Do you believe in asylums still? Because those were abolished for a reason. Are you all for locking up those who don't fit normal standard? I'll have you know that K is an incredibly intelligent girl with a degree under her belt, as I also have, and I have had four hospital admissions. I myself struggle with my illness every day but that isn't stopping me from starting honours and looking forward to educating people like you what some mental illnesses really are.
I'm so afraid you're going to get beaten up for your ignorant views Annie!
please, do seek help and maybe have a read, join modern society, you know, that sort of thing.
Bless your cotton socks.
Go do some reading.
Lucy
Ahhh, Lucy. I couldn't have said it any better.
ReplyDeleteWell, Lucy, I was just offering my sympathy and did not deserve your cruel attack on me. What is the solution then for the insane? It seems to me that if some one is constantly harming themselves they should be kept in a safe place. Were you in hospital for self-mutilation too? How sad! I would be afraid to be near you or K because you might cut yourselves or cut me. Can that behavior be predicted? How would you like to be treated? Do doctors help you? Do you like doctors? If you want to educate people, start now by explaining a better way to help the insane than hospitalization until no longer insane.
ReplyDeleteConfused,
Annie
Lost for words
ReplyDeletewow....K, yeh, I'm actually lost for words, I'm assuming that Annie has got to be over 80 because her views are incredibly out dated. If you actually RESEARCHED what you are condemning Annie, you would find that an incredibly small portion of the mentally ill are violent, incredibly small. And once again, if you had any idea what you were talking about you would understand that self mutilation is about harming oneself, not harming others. I was in hospital for a variety of reasons, but they dont put you in hospital for self harm unless it's life threatening. I actually am concerned about your lack of understanding, did you grow up under a rock? more than 50% of the people you encounter each day will have some sort of connection with mentall illness.
ReplyDeleteYes doctors help, there are two kinds of psych doctors, a psychiatrist, who does medication, and a psychologist, who doesnt prescribe drugs but uses ongoing dialogue as a form of therapy.
Most people who are mentally ill are not INSANE. The number of actual mental health disorders is huge, not just INSANE, and most of the disorders are high functioning, you live a normal life, and you deal with your illness as you need to.
I hope you never ever attempt to reach out to anyone again, I fear you have a mental deficiency, or maybe you are just incredibly dumb and naive.
Once again, do some frikkin research.
Angry and annnoyed at people like you - Lucy
Haha, Lucy you are one CRAZY MoFo!!!! Annie was just asking what's the best way to deal with nut jobs like you, and you go off on her like a banshee. You just showed her how very sick you are!
ReplyDeleteHey, Annie...I know something about BPD.. The most important thing is that not even their own doctors like them, that they are the least desirable patients to have because they are manipulative and unwilling to help themselves. Also, there is no cure for these psychos, so watch out! Lock them up, throw away the key!
Mitch
I’ve got a great idea! Let’s gather up everyone with an incurable disease, or defect which causes some inconvenience to the general populace and euthanize the lot of them. That would solve all medical funding problems and cleanse the earth of all that is imperfect. Who needs diversity!
ReplyDeleteAnd Mitch, your knowledge of BPD can’t have come from anything more academic than a teen chat room. Read this http://www.sane.org/information/factsheets-podcasts/160-borderline-personality-disorder
Mitch and Annie please refrain from commenting on this blog again.
Lucy, you are welcome to say what you wish to these two cretins.
It's true! I've been a psychiatrist for over thirty years, and BPD patients are impervious to treatment. I have to take 6 weeks of holiday just to recover from their hackneyed puerile musings of their perceived lot in life. Any mental health professional worth their salt would advise his patients to refrain from discussing their myriad issues in an open forum. It is just asking for the truth to be put to them, and this they cannot accept.
ReplyDeleteDr. Dinkleheim
I've been following your blog since October and find the above posts offensive. I have bpd and just getting out of bed in the morning is an accomplishment for me. My world is black. No one understands me!
ReplyDeleteCourtney
I have attempted to respond twice to the above comments and lost my response both times. I cannot be bothered with small minded idiotic people who's views are stuck in the 1800's.
ReplyDeleteAnnie, Mitch and Dr Dinkleheim, go to someone elses blog and share your small minded views with people who care to hear them. Good luck with that.
K, keep posting, as we can see from Courtney's response, your blog is read by many and is often an insight, a comfort, and an education.
Love L.