That's It!

I’ve had enough of all this shit, being passed from doctor to doctor, psychologist to psychologist, being told some psychs aren’t taking new patients, being told I’m too difficult for others. You have 11 days to say goodbye, my birthday is a good day to die. I think jumping off a very high cliff is a great idea, it’s certain death and quick, I don’t want any of these half hearted overdoses or wrist cuts, I want definite.

So that’s one way of thinking about it, or...

I’ve had enough of all this shit, being passed from doctor to doctor, psychologist to psychologist, being told some psychs aren’t taking new patients, I’m too difficult for others, finding some who charge millions for 5 minutes of their time. How am I supposed to stick it out until everyone’s back from their Christmas breaks? Apart from being a total mess I only have meds until the 24^th of December, and they’re not right for me anyway. I still have no psychiatrist; today’s trip was just for a prescription. I understand I broke the rules at the last hospital, but abandoning me has done more harm than I think they could imagine... So this is supposed to be the or paragraph, but what can my or be? I can eat valium and temazepam until some miracle psychiatrist comes to save the day - though I’m not sure I have enough meds in stock to do that; I can surround myself with my three friends, wear them out and end up with none; I could tell my parents exactly how I feel and never be left alone long enough to pee; Though I think my favourite idea is running away with Lester and living under a tree.

Maybe plan A is better. 

Happy birthday to me, happy death day to me, happy birthdeath day to meeeee, happy birthdeath day to me!