Old and New

This was written last night - computer didn't like the internet.

After another mostly sleepless night I find myself at my parents - by choice; I don’t have the energy to feed myself, showering takes a lot of will power and basically I think if I stayed at home in this state I’d die of dehydration on the couch because I couldn’t be bothered getting water - Okay that may be a slight exaggeration, but that’s how I feel. I’m not consciously anxious, but I must be, I’ve been having little panic attacks whilst trying to sleep, I think it’s just anxiety about another sleepless night, which of course is not going to help me.

I haven’t heard if the potential new psychiatrist has accepted me or not, I hope it doesn’t take long I feel like tearing all my skin off because you know there’s a whole new person under there, I just have to get rid of the top layer.

Today included a catch up with an old friend, an attempted nap and a catch up with a not old friend over a great coffee followed by a very unhealthy meal (my third serving of chips this week!) and then an agonising drive out West; things move around in my field of vision at the best of times, they practically dance when I’m like this, making driving quite the adventure.