Breakthrough

This morning I got home from a four-week hospital admission. It was possibly the most significant I’ve had. What started as a containment admission turned into a full medication review, second opinion and complete change in my presentation.

I’m not going to name all the medications, as that would bore you. The big thing is that I’ve come off Seroquel – an anti-psychotic I’ve been on pretty much constantly for the last four years. It’s famous for turning its victims into zombies and for weight gain. Being off this means I’m feeling more emotions; I’m not used to them yet (evidenced by the 3 -5 crying episodes a day) but that should settle down and also improve as my new antidepressant settles in. I’m also more expressive when communicating with people, the nurses were all saying they’d never seen me this way and this is a ward I’ve frequented many times, they know me.

I’m really scared of down time at the moment, things are working faster in my head and I don’t want to be sitting still alone. If you could make some time for me that would be appreciated, I can come to you.

I am worried about this extra activity in my head, and there is more anxiety there for sure, but this could be a very good thing for me.